"The Outing of Kit Connor (Special Podcast Episode)" Transcript

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Nov 01, 2022 First published.

Dec 07, 2023 Privated post-callout.

Feb 26, 2024 Unprivated with apology 2, claiming no plagiarism.

May 8, 2024Channel deleted

We need to talk about the horrible situation that "fans" put Kit Connor in.

PATREON: [link]

#kitconnor #heartstopper #gay

hello everyone and welcome to episode 21 of the padreon my name is James and this week um I think this episode may be another episode that goes out live on to um my YouTube channel because this is something that I feel like needs to be talked about instead of just my inane ramblings laughs so we're gonna have a chat about uh kit Connor who most of you would know as Nick from heartstopper and how he has been forced to out himself because of a lot of people saying that he is queerbaiting by playing a bisexual character on a television show heartstopper on Netflix um but not coming out as some flavor of queer and so they've been saying they've and they've been saying this for months now he left Twitter for a while because people were just attacking him over this kind of demanding that he come out and so he left Twitter for a while and um yesterday October 31st he put out a tweet saying back for a minute I'm bi congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself I think some of you missed the point of the show bye which is basically sums up my opinion of the whole situation that an internet mob demanding a queer person to out themselves um forced someone an 18 year old who you know I'm I'm 33 I look at an 18 year old as a kid like I know you know like 18 is the age of adult blah blah all that I don't care an 18 year old is a kid um you know they're still figuring stuff out I know people who didn't figure out their kind of queer status until they were in their 20s or 30s some even in their 40s or later and so I did a stream last night and that's when I was informed of this live um so I was kind I was doing a stream playing a video game playing Resident Evil and so I was kind of trying to have to figure out okay how do I do this how do I how how do I play the video game and like sum up my thoughts on this and so that's why I decided to do this podcast and for my pray turns for my patrons I do apologize for putting this one live I know the patreon or the patreon is supposed to be Patron exclusive um but I do think that this is a topic that ought to be discussed uh like I said [Music] um and even I'm just kind of looking around at different articles talking about it variety for instance says heartstopper Creator and fans rally around star kit Connor after he's forced to come out as bisexual and they have forced in quotation marks as if he is you know kind of drumming up drama around this that oh he wasn't forced to come out it's like no there has been so much pressure from a certain section of the internet a very loud section of the internet for Kit Connor to come out as queer in some way that I can imagine for an 18 year old who is just getting his start in the Indus in the film industry who's just getting his start really as an actor he's been an actor before like he was in rocket man he played young Elton John um and he obviously he's done other projects as well but you know Heart Stopper is his first you know big hit it's made him famous and just as he's hitting this stride at such a young age of 18 there Comes This wave of negativity basically saying you are illegitimate your character is illegitimate you are not worth the time of the queer Community if you don't come out and so I just want to talk about first of all I want to talk about coming out in the film industry um because that's kind of I know a lot of people in the film industry I know a lot of gay people in the film industry and I know a lot of uh people in the film industry who know a lot of gay people in the film industry who are not out a lot of actors who are not out of the closet um publicly they are to friends and family their agents you know their managers know producers know but an industry exists to make sure that the vast majority of people do not know because they are the type of actors who could be classified as Leading Men um you know like the Leonardo DiCaprio's of the world not not Leonardo DiCaprio isn't one of them but you know people who could be on his level there are actors who could be on his level and there is who are gay um who basically everyone in the industry knows they just keep quiet about it because they know there would be a huge backlash and their career may very well be torpedoed as it's just kind of getting off to a good start if they were to be outed because that is unfortunately still how Hollywood works now I know we know lots and lots of gay actors um let me just bring up uh a list of them here just so that I'm not uh hemming and highing like I already am but you know you've got actors like Zachary Quinto and Neil Patrick Harris and Jim Parsons and Jane Lynch and Raven Simone and Guillermo Diaz and Ian McKellen of course and Sarah Paulson and Matt Bomer and Cynthia Nixon and Kristen Stewart and uh well obviously Elton John Sarah Gilbert um Cheyenne Jackson Colton Haynes who recently released an autobiography talking about his coming out process um uh Ben winshaw uh Wanda Sykes Wentworth Miller Rosie O'Donnell Ricky Martin Lily Tomlin Sam Smith Jesse Tyler Ferguson so you know we know lots of queer actors and performers and celebrities we know lots of queer celebrities and so I think we have gotten used to the idea of oh well it's all better in Hollywood now that you know maybe 20 years ago if you came out your career would be torpedoed but not now not now it's everything's everything's better now because you know Hollywood is so gay um and you know there are the the sort of behind the scenes of Hollywood the um the people who really make the town run are I don't want to say majority but a pretty sizable chunk of them are a part of the queer Community um but the people who make the decisions the people who make the final decisions I'm talking The Producers the executives they are not gay for the most part some of them are like Ryan Murphy but for the most and he goes out of his way like he's said some dumb stuff in the last week regarding the Dahmer series but he has gone far out of his way to give queer performers all across the Spectrum an opportunity to get um viewed by a much larger Audience by being on hit shows like American Horror Story and American Crime Story and as well as giving them work in general because work for queer performers is kinda hard to come by especially like the cast of Poe's um having transgender actresses and non-binary actresses and non-binary actors uh getting them work on a highly regarded show is something that it does take a Ryan Murphy type figure to do even though Ryan Murphy didn't really run Poe's uh pose was mostly run by actually uh creators of color um and trans creators of color as well which is really great that you know executive producers were hired that actually were a part of the community but other than Ryan Murphy there aren't a lot of queer producers or Executives out there to give queer actors a chance to shine it is mostly old white men grumpy old white men like the um the CEO of Disney the CEO of Warner Brothers these kind of guys that you look at them and you're like oh you can just see just by looking at them like you're like oh you hate us um and you know whether they hate us or not they're certainly not going out of their way to support us and so that is really who runs the film industry like from the top because the people who make the film industry you know work as you know a well-oiled machine they are um they are gay people and lesbians and trans people and non-binary people they are the people who make Productions work but the people who make Productions funded are the straight old white men and those straight old white men still have a very strict idea of what classifies as marketable to a mainstream audience and they do not think to this day they do not think that gay actors are marketable to a mainstream audience there have been multiple actors just over the last couple of years who you can find with a relatively ego easy Google search I'm not going to talk about their name I'm not going to mention their names because that would be outing them I've talked about it on streams and stuff like that but I'm not going to talk about it on a video that's you know up forever um but there are pretty major actors um who have been you know coming up in the industry in the last couple of years who have almost had their careers destroyed because they came out on Instagram or they had a couple of many Paparazzi too many Paparazzi pictures taken of them at the beach with their boyfriend um and people who came out over a decade ago who quickly went back into the closet and have been very deep within the closet since then to the point where they're being set up with actresses and things like that to kind of keep hush um so that nobody questions their sexuality and this is how Hollywood still to this day works this is what was happening in the 19 like 40s and 50s with Rock Hudson where actors like Rod Rock Hudson and actors like Anthony Perkins would be given girlfriends and by producers and Executives and said okay now you're gonna go to dinner with her and you're going to be seen and we're going to make sure that the Press is there and that was done and it's still done to this day that is still done because these old white men producers thoroughly believe that if an actor is gay the majority of America and again this is Hollywood so this is very america-centric um that the majority of America would basically disown them and whether they're right or not we don't really know because we've never had a really good case study of it in a general sense with Neil Patrick Harris he kind of went away for a very long time and then came back and came out but he was a part of a hit TV show that was where he was playing a very straight character and did a good job a good really good job doing it and so it was easy for audiences to kind of disassociate his uh homosexuality because he was so good at playing this womanizing straight character and since then he hasn't been in any huge projects if you notice he was in Gone Girl but in a very minor supporting character uh he was in the new series on Netflix uh the title of it is escaping me but he it was um a quote unquote quote unquote older gay man so Neil Patrick Harris's age which as far as I'm concerned that's not an older gay man um but uh he and his long his long-term partner dumps him and he's kind of forced out into the dating game again and it was not a success and the timing of this in particular is incredibly bad because the question of okay are gay actors marketable was put to a test with Bros and say what you will about Bros it was two gay actors in the lead roles of this movie the quality of notwithstanding the problems with um uh the main actor I can't believe I'm forgetting his name I'm I'm I just sat down to do this right after a stream so I'm kind of flighty I apologize um but the the main actor had some problems and stuff but like forget about all that Hollywood doesn't care about that uh Hollywood doesn't give a damn about the technicalities surrounding the failure of a movie Billy Eichner sorry I had to Google it because it was driving me crazy uh Billy Eichner and Luke McFarland were the lead characters lead actors in that movie both of them are out gay men and have been out and gay for quite a while um and the movie bombed at like almost like drastic levels uh with a 22 million dollar budget and a an estimated marketing budget of 30 million dollars which there's been no confirmation that's just kind of what's leaked out of you know different Hollywood sources that would mean that the movie would need to make a hundred million dollars to break even because basically uh I've talked about this in videos before basically for a movie to break even it has to make twice as much at the box office as it cost to make and Market because movie theaters keep roughly 50 of the money that is made so 50 million dollars and it's made 13 million so huge bomb huge bomb because it needed to make about 100 million to break even um so that is the most recent gay thing that Hollywood will look at and they look at that and they say oh nope gay actors are not marketable and they don't look at this the the the sort of the surrounding Confluence of events they did they don't Executives don't care about that they don't care about people's opinions on why something failed they just look at it as black and white failure success did it break even was a profit gained from this project no it's a failure there is no caveats there it's a failure that's the way Executives work Executives don't think about social causes Executives think about dollar signs that's what their job is that's what they're paid to do um and so like I said again sorry for repeating myself Bros is the most recent thing in Hollywood's memory as far as gay actors go and now or as queer actors go and now with kit Harrington not kid Harrington oh my god um kit Connor kit Harrington is not gay uh with kick on her um being forced to come out as bisexual and he was forced to come out as bisexual because there was so much pressure put on this kid for him to come out because from from some fans of Heart Stopper who said that you know I'm gonna stop watching the show if he's straight other fans um other people who may not even be fans saying that he's queerbaiting the Audience by not coming out as bisexual that he's pulling a hairy styles by not saying it one way or another and while seeing all of this I'm like guys he's 18 years old give him a break give him some time um it's you know just infuriating and and this is from someone who used to be very like okay listen if you're gay and you're in media you need to come out because we need more um we we need more uh exposure but he's 18. like this isn't like if uh who's a who's an actor that's like really bulletproof um Chris Evans it's not like if Chris Evans came out and said I'm gay a lot of people would be like oh but plenty of people would still go to see Chris Evans movies I don't think it would hit Chris Evans very hard if he came out as gay because he has an established fan base he has as an established career he has established relationships you know he's Captain America um or at least he was Captain America um so it wouldn't really affect him that much if someone like uh well Leonardo DiCaprio if Leonardo DiCaprio came out as bisexual it would not affect him at all if anything it might increase his fan base um but you know kit Connor is just getting started in his career and with Bros just show having shown Hollywood that gay actors are box office poison or queer actors or our box office poison and you now have Kit Connor being forced to come out that puts a big asterisk above his career because now there is a question hovering over him kid Connor has been in talks for big roles um he didn't come to Hollywood for most for a big chunk of 2022 to see the sights he came to Hollywood to talk to Casting agents and talk to Casting executives because Heart Stopper came out it was huge there was an immediate thirst for him among lots of teenage girls and teenage boys and a lot of much older people um a little problematic but anyway that he gained a huge fan base and a huge following on social media just people sharing every single picture taken of him anywhere whether it was a Paparazzi picture it was a selfie it was a picture taken with fans it would just be shared everywhere kit Connor was trended on Twitter so often it was like every single day I saw him trending on Twitter um and so like he had this golden opportunity handed to him because of what came out of Heart Stopper that none of the other actors on the show have really gotten the and you ask yourself well why not are they not as good no it's because the other especially the other queer actors on the show they're out they were out when the show came out and so for most Hollywood Executives and casting agents they were immediately written off they weren't flown into Hollywood to read for roles at DC or Marvel or Universal projects or things for um you know I don't know the rings of power or something I don't know um uh or House of the Dragon whatever they weren't brought in to read for these giant projects uh I don't know for sure what kit Connor was brought in to read for and by read for I mean audition um and to speak to Casting agents and get to know people but he was brought in and he had this amazing opportunity and I think that's why he left Twitter because it was like you know I have this amazing opportunity as a very young actor to be able to really you know gain a foothold in this incr in this industry that is near impossible to gain a foothold in and people were you know poking and prodding and saying you need to come out you need to come out you need to come out and so he left Twitter for a while because he's like I I'm not going to do that I I can't right now and I understand that I completely understand that because like I said there is still a huge stigma for queer actors in Hollywood um and you know there are plenty of queer actors getting roles on Netflix and and shows in the UK and on TV in general but not in movies he was reading for big roles in movies and now that Heart Stopper is shooting season two even though he hasn't been on Twitter he is basically on Twitter because people are sharing uh they've been in Paris filming on on location and so people have been sharing pictures and then the comments under these pictures just become a deluge of he's queerbaiting he's queerbaiting he's queerbaiting he's queerbaiting and so he comes back and says you know back for a minute I'm bi congrats for forcing an 18 year old out himself I think some of you missed the point of the show bye and because there's just so much pressure because there's the potential that a lot of people would say I don't like him because I think he's queerbaiting and he should come out so I'm not going to watch season two and then season two fails and then that Torpedoes the careers of everyone else on that show then it's a one-hit season wonder One season Wonder and then it's not just kick Connor's career who's in danger it's everyone's career if these asshats decided to you know not watch the show anymore because they were angry at kit Connor for not coming out and so I think he was thinking of his friends and his co-workers and his castmates and he was like I don't want their careers to be torpedoed by this toxic group of people so I'm going to you know take the arrow to the knee and you know go on there and come out and you can tell just by the Tweet he's not happy about this because this isn't someone who has come to terms with their sexuality they've you know talked to their friends and family they're comfortable about it and they're ready this isn't someone who is ready to come out publicly this is someone who is being pushed out of the closet and that's not something that we should do ever like I think there are some exceptions that can be made for say republican politicians that we know are gay that we have proof that are gay and they are voting for anti-gay bills for anti-trans bills stuff like that I'm not going to say don't out them because then from their voter base they're not going to get reelected so you know that's one less person who is actively hurting the Community kit Connor was not hurting the community none of the actors who I know are gay are hurting the community by not being out in fact most of them raise money for the community for Charities like um trans lifeline and things like that and the Trevor Project and even though they're not out they do a lot to raise money for causes in the community and you know so they're doing their part because they can't come out just because of the industry they're in and it's a toxic industry ask any woman who was ever in a room with Harvey Weinstein they will tell you just how toxic this industry can be um and so there's been a huge reaction online to this as you can imagine a lot of people gloating kind of saying like yeah we got him to come out yay he's out yay and it's like okay yay he's bisexual what do you think he's gonna date you like do you think you you're get you're getting something out of this other than the the joy of outing an 18 year old that you don't know um Alice oseman the creator of Heart Stopper um uh put out a statement saying I truly don't understand how people can watch Heart Stopper and then gleefully spend their time speculating about sexualities and judging based on stereotypes I hope all those people are embarrassed as F kit you are amazing uh and then went on to say if Heart Stopper helps a young queer person in their coming out journey or if it helps a parent understand their child a little bit better it is the most lovely and heartwarming thing you could hear and makes it feel like it's all worth it um actually I think she may have said that earlier um kit Connor also said to have a show where you see queer people being happy and being together and United as a group I think there's something really beautiful about that I think that shows like euphoria that are very queer and still very much sort of adult in many ways because they are very dark and gritty I think it's really important to have a show that is just portraying queer love and queer Beauty and I believe yeah pretty sure he said this before this happened um like on the original press tour um because that's one of the nice things that people have loved about heartstopper is that it's not that it is something that you know you can feel as a queer teenager or pre even preteen you can feel comfortable watching Heart Stopper with your parents if you know your parents are accepting um you can feel comfortable watching it with them because you know there's not going to be you know a random dick popping up somewhere it's usually not dicks but you know a random sex scene um that's just like gratuitous um or you know other like heavy drug use and stuff like that like it's something you can watch with your family it's something that your grandparents can watch and be like oh oh it's just they just fall in love like that and it it like I've seen so many stories on Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr about people getting their grandparents to watch Heart Stopper and suddenly their grandparents aren't so homophobic anymore you know maybe it doesn't convert them to being 100 on our side but you know it opens the conversation and so and there's lots of people who don't like Heart Stopper and that's perfectly fine it's not for everyone it is very sweet it's like it's like the sweetest candy it is not for everybody um I've only been able to watch it once all the way through because it is so sweet um that it's almost painful for my uh frustrated 33 year old haven't had a boyfriend in 10 years heart to be able to watch it but um you know it just it gives it it's this happy place and now this happy place is being infused with this again toxicity from people who aren't seeing the message they're not looking at kit Connor's character and seeing his slow Evolution well that's slow because it's not that long a season but his Evolution across the season coming to terms with his bisexuality um you know coming to terms with the fact that he likes boys is he gay is he bisexual figuring out okay he's bisexual and then coming and then on his own terms in his own time coming out to people and coming out to his mom and stuff like that that they watch that and they see this bisexual character be able to do that in their own time and then they look at the per literal the literal person playing that character and they say but you don't get to have that you don't get to have that you need to do it on my time you need to do it when I say you need to do it uh yesterday because you shouldn't have been cast in this role if you aren't queer and you know it's and then that brings up the the the big argument about should you know should we really really be focusing on casting queer actors in queer roles um because then it kind of raises the question okay well how many queer actors are not going to get queer roles because they're not out uh because they're you know in an industry that for the most part won't allow them to be out um and that is a problem and it's something worth discussing I don't have the answer for that um I've I've never even been forced to kind of reckon with my gayness because I came out I figured out I was gay when I was like I figured out what gay was and that that's what I was at about 11 and I came out at 12. and it wasn't like I came out to myself I came out to my friends my family my grandparents just everybody I had I didn't have the patience to wait um because I expected there to be this you know amazing gay community to pop up to support this 12 year old that didn't happen um and which is probably for the better when you really think about it um but so I I've never had to kind of worry about it and Eve but even when I've when I was working in marketing and things like that when I would start at a firm I I wouldn't mention that I was gay I I wouldn't because you don't know the opinion of the people who really decide whether or not you get to make a living and you know in Canada where I am it is illegal to fire someone for being gay but there's always a way they can come up with a different reason you know they don't have to say oh I fired him because he's gay it can be well he showed up late a lot and it's like well how where's the proof of that there doesn't really need to be proof no no one's going to demand proof of that um which is why I'm so thankful for you know being able to make YouTube videos because as frustrating as YouTube is and can be with queer creators um it is a place that I can be myself and I don't have to hide myself to be able to um you know make a living and that is a great um weight off of my shoulders that most actors in Hollywood specifically it's different everywhere I know it's a lot easier to be out in England uh the England the English acting scene for instance um but when you're trying to work in Hollywood it's very hard to just come out because no matter how big your fan base is no matter what kind of franchise you're in you never know which old white male executive is gonna look at you and say well I don't think you can make us money anymore so I'm not even gonna try and so now this 18 year old kid who is incredibly talented the boy can sing and the boy can act and is incredibly talented and is on this show that is making people incredibly happy has now been backed into this corner where he may have just if not I think I think he has a fan base that is AVID enough that it won't torpedo his career a Heart Stopper has been such a hit for Netflix if nothing else Netflix will put him in stuff but you know will possibly have hurt his career just because he has had to acquiesce to these online [ __ ] demanding an 18 year old divulge you know what for a lot of people is very personal information um you know even if he was in a different industry like if he if he wasn't an actor if he wasn't a singer or anything like that if he was just working in I don't know insurance it's not fair to force anyone out of the closet when they are not if they are not being you know uh a force for bad for the community like I said gay Republicans and stuff um who are in the closet and voting against gay rights and trans rights and just being horrible um most people most gay people are not elected officials voting against their own rights most are not and so like you know I'm focused on Hollywood because that is the situation at hand a very talented young actor may have just had his career ended and that might be being dramatic because like I said Netflix is going to keep him around because he is very popular um and Netflix has had you know Netflix has had its problems with queer rep with queer stuff but they they have produced a lot of queer content um but he may have just really hurt what could have been movie stardom like you know getting into the Marvel movies maybe playing hulkling or something like that in the Young Avengers or you know getting into you know just Blockbusters or big Hollywood movies and Oscar movies something whatever um that may have put the brakes on that for him because of these [ __ ] who feel like he owes them something because he's a public figure they know who he is they want to know if he's gay because he's gay or bi or queer because he's playing a queer character he's playing a bisexual character so they want to know they want to know if he deserves their respect they want to know if he deserves their admiration because how dare he expect them to not disqualify him for doing an amazing job playing a character that helped a lot of people that alone is not enough for them he has to justify that by telling them I am what you need me to be what you specifically need me to be and the Really heartbreaking part about it is that they're a minority a very loud toxic minority and you know kit Connor is not the first person that they have come for um they have come for plenty of people in the past and he's just the most recent and I think probably the most high profile because her Heart Stopper has been so popular and it's just really sad seeing this it's sad because I I don't know if it's if it's coming from the gay community and you know if it's coming from the queer community and we're demanding this of him if it's coming from straight viewers who feel like they're doing the right thing by you know uh forcing him out of the closet because you know he should stand up with the gay community and all this kind of stuff I don't know if it's you know fan girls who want to know whether or not they'll ever get to be with him or if it's Fanboys who ever want to know if they'll be with him um I can answer that for all of them in all of you if any of you are listening no you're never going to be with him um whether he's you know he's bisexual but whether he was gay straight bisexual uh pansexual asexual aromantic whatever you are never going to you know be his boyfriend or be his girlfriend so I don't know why you felt you had so much personal stake in this to force this 18 year old kid out of the closet at a very precarious time in his life a maker literally a make or break time for his career and I'm just hoping that his fan base rallies around him and from what I'm seeing on Twitter they are um um he's got just on that tweet he's got 23 right as of right now he's got 23 000 replies the vast mode I haven't obviously I haven't gone through all of them but of the vast majority that I've read have been very positive uh supporting him and apologizing for the faceless masses that demanded he come out uh and 405 000 likes so he's got his fan base he's got his fans he's he's also got you know Alice oseman behind him who's becoming you know a kind of a stir creator with Netflix now um with Heart Stopper being so popular and they want to work with her on other projects um I want to work with them with other projects I apologize um and you know he has had talks with um pretty big pretty big studios in Hollywood pretty big production companies and some pretty big Executives and I'm hoping that this doesn't put the brakes on all of that I like I said I think there's going to be people there to support him no matter what um if the brakes are put on there will be people at Netflix there'll be people like Alice oseman who will be there to you know keep them going hopefully you know someone like maybe Zendaya who you know can help him do a get him in Spider-Man or something I don't know um you know just I just hope that this really talented kid doesn't have his career destroyed because of some [ __ ] on the internet because it may sound hyperbolic very recently careers have been destroyed because of people coming out um and careers that looked very promising disappeared so that's my thoughts on this [Music] um thank you for listening I would love to hear what you think about it in the comments be respectful and uh again thank you so much for listening and uh I'll have a new video coming out soon thank you for watching my most recent ones I really appreciate it and if you're one of those people on the internet who has been demanding the kick Connor come out I feel like you should maybe do some self-reflection of what you expect from queer people

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