"The Role of Adult Media in Gay Identity (A Conversation)" Transcript

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Mar 22, 2023 First published.

Dec 07, 2023 Privated post-callout.

May 8, 2024Channel deleted

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How much influence has adult media had on the development of gay and bisexual men?

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00:00 Introduction
03:14 Segment 1
13:21 Segment 2
27:46 Segment 3

this video is brought to you by atlasvpn hi everyone welcome to the second episode of gays Behaving Badly my name is James I'm Nick and there will be a Chiron under your name giving all your information stuff and I assume a Chiron under your probably maybe um everyone in the whole world everybody we all want to cancel you so the first episode of this came out last year where we talked about asexuality and we want to keep doing episodes like this there's been a bit of a break obviously but we want to actually do this on a monthly basis so hopefully we first it was really fun it was uh and did well which is the important thing um um but in today's episode we're going to be talking about the role of adult media in the development of uh gay identity specifically paying attention to Gay and bisexual men but also kind of taking a look at how it can help how it can develop with lesbian identity as well because I think porn has a big influence on that as well well I think everyone in the queer community and granted like we're only going to touch on this because I I don't know if anyone's noticed this but neither James nor myself are lesbians um big shock uh you heard it here first folks um so like we can't really speak on that with authority but like from kind of an outside end like we have some thoughts on that especially from talking to lesbians in our lives um that sounds like a soap opera lesbians in our lives I've seen in our lives that would be an interesting sofa lots of moving so like is actually recently there has been a very there is a growing under the surface conversation in queer communities about the role of adult media especially as we have begun to see ourselves we have began to begin our began I think it's kind of we'll we'll get into it um because this is just the introduction so this is the introduction hi yes um but before we jump into the video proper um we would like to uh send you on over to today's sponsor this video is brought to you by atlasvpn Atlas VPN allows you to unlock all your favorite content from across the globe by tricking each and every streaming service into thinking you're in a different country can't wait for your favorite Niche anime because crunchyrolls somehow hasn't gotten it yet no problem you can stream it directly from the Japanese Network site it also helps keep your Google and internet searches private and hidden from prying eyes which can be pretty helpful when you're Googling pup play and don't want your vanilla boyfriend to know about it at least not yet Atlas VPN can even block the incessant pop-up ads and potential malware that runs wild on a lot of adult websites leaving you to browse the internet in peace it's like a condom for the internet and it's the best deal for a VPN out there and now is a great time to sign up because Atlas VPN is currently offering a special limited time offer where their premium service is just a dollar 83 per month plus three months for free all with a 30-day money-back guarantee but be quick because it's only for a limited time so start browsing the net in a safe and secure way with Atlas VPN today okay so now that the ad read is done we are entering segment number one which is about stuff so Nick what are we talking about today what what like okay so obviously the premise of this is that we're talking bisexual men men who love men men who are attracted to men umam is a better term than MLM because you don't have to love someone have sex with sex with ma'am ma'am ma'am ma'am uh that would be pretty poetic um and then for women it's LOL ma'am-in-law um so I guess the kind of premise we're running off of here is that gay men unlike straight men really discovered their the first time that they can visually see their sexuality is in porn that's certainly how it used to be absolutely yeah uh before like Heart Stopper and stuff like that but definitely men of let's say men who hit puberty before 2000 and yes 17. um and especially earlier in that when we get into like you know you'd see a skin flick or you'd see a skin mag um skin Flex the 70s again uh yeah I actually love those terms can Megan's conflict um I I think they're we our society has done a fantastic job at completely disenfranchising slang but yeah so like getting back on topic because we're we're giving ourselves time limits here yeah so um the role of porn in this case is to sort of normalize uh this kind of query density and sort of you know oh cause and Awakening literally an Awakening in order earlier context yeah um that was the because you know of reasons you didn't really have a whole lot of opportunities to see gay Identity or yeah because like growing up like I had Will and Grace but what like there wasn't a whole lot of like men loving men on Will and Grace well yeah especially and I I lucked out because I had Queer as Folk but there were a lot of people my age who did not know that that existed didn't stay up late our society completely disenfranchises the role of sexuality and the sex life um and that's true even in the context of asexual people is you you gotta experiment around a little bit to know that you don't like that so not having a sex life is still an element of sexuality yeah um uh and Will and Grace doesn't really comment on anything in terms of sexuality that's kind of just social dynamics yeah um so having to do gay men learn from gay porn um they learn that gay sex exists essentially um and how to have it not necessarily how to have it but that it's something that people around the world do have yeah um sex with other men uh and that it doesn't that's it's not exclusively some think that's romantic that sexuality does exist and sort of validating those sexual feelings because there isn't a gender dynamic between men and women that is kind of there's no gender dynamic between men and right right there isn't the same gender Dynamic there it's a very different gender dynamic between two men than it is between a man and a woman yeah um and because media is wrought with the necessitative love needs to precede sex yeah for a lot of straight entanglements which leads to a lot of men exploit sorry men exploiting women uh their feelings so that they can be sexual men who have sex with men do not have that not necessarily I think I mean I think they do I mean because they're watching just as much straight media as straight men so they are picking up the same kind of Dynamics I suppose but I've heard this from like multiple people and especially straight women who kind of like analyze sort of like from a distance what it might be like to sort of be in that sexual atmosphere is that um a lot of women kind of and this is me kind of quoting straight women uh kind of have these uh emotional entanglements like they they like to have emotions and sex yeah whereas men don't always like to have that um and this whether this is biology or whether this is uh social um conditioning I can't really say but it seems to be that in gay circles especially for younger gay men we talked about it the simple this at some point like because um gay sex is something you quote shouldn't be having if you want to have it there's nothing holding you back there's no social Dynamic there's no social structure telling you to hold back and leave for marriage if you're gonna have sex with men yeah because the social attitude is just don't do it um so I think porn act like porn being the first exposure to real um human sexual human sexuality in a homosexual context uh it is really not important might be the wrong word but it's really fundamental in establishing those uh fast and loose sex oh I think it I think maybe not today I don't think today but I think for Generations the like it was fundamental whether it was you know in the 60s or 70s you know meeting usually at a teenage guy meeting an older man who has you know some reels um and by reels I mean eight millimeter reels because everything was on film there were no videotapes yet or then going into the 80s where you know there were videotapes that you could get porn was really the first time that you saw men being intimate with other men whether that's love or sex being intimate with other men there's another angle there too because there's a difference between being exposed to porn and being exposed to two guys in a cruise accidentally stumbling on two guys in a crew spot and that being their first gay sort of experience is that porn is an industry and when he sets it up yeah it's it's not sort of a um but a traumatic moment it's it's also validating because you get to see not only our two men having sex is there is an industry around these two men having sex yeah so even if um you don't know any gay men in your small town in Nebraska um there is an something in your back brain that says that there are many people who consume this or else they wouldn't have made it yeah um so I think that this exists for a reason which means there are other people that meanwhile exactly so I think that's also another fundamental area of just normalizing masquerade entity yeah um and and so for that reason I think that because it has been so formative for gay people it's a lot more common for gay men to appreciate porn and openly discuss porn than gay than straight men whereas you watch even rom-coms and it's like oh the husband has a a dirty movie stash that his wife doesn't know about it yeah or the magazines under the mattress it's a box of Shame um that you shouldn't be having because you know your wife wants your the the normative idea in these movies is the wife wants to be the one and only yeah and anything pornographic is kind of you know uh to use your phrase verboten um it's a very different Dynamic whereas porn is kind of not maybe not openly accepted but very publicly accepted um and depending upon like we get into the like maybe the Dynamics of the porn themselves but it is it is sort of it's the first place for and like I said like we said it nowadays you know you have Heart Stopper you have young Royals you have these shows on Netflix that a 12 year old can watch and feel seen for the first time yeah but for many many many many generations the first time you felt seen as a game or bisexual man was in adult media yeah and I don't think it's the same necessarily the same for lesbians where that's the first time you feel seen But it sort of like the question is it the same thing for lesbians or is it different well certainly lesbian porn is a lot more common because there is a huge straight consumer base yeah that's that's the big difference is that gay porn is produced for gay men straight porn is produced for straight men lesbian porn is produced for straight men there is a huge difference between lesbian porn that is produced for straight men and versus for women there's a huge difference between straight and a huge difference in how much of it is made oh yeah yeah because there's way more way less straight lesbian porn made for lesbians because most porn producers who produce lesbian porn assume that women aren't interested and as Anne Rice has shown by writing several best-selling pornographic albums women are interested they you know the what she said they just don't want to go to that back alley store near the airport to get it is erotica a much stronger genre of porn for lesbians or for women in general I would think yes uh it's the feather versus this this might come from managing and not safe for work Discord server but lesbians seem much more interested in the written word yeah um but another thing that I found really interesting is we're closing off this topic is going to say it's the feather versus The Brick it's not a brick that's harder to harder to do in visual but there's more reluctance to do that but just finishing off there's a big difference in straight porn meant for men and straight women for straight women oh a huge difference I didn't know that until I started seeing it um I actually don't mind watching straight porn made for women well straight porn meant for women is there there's a story to it there is a reason these two people are having even just in the shot and the way the models perform because the straight Point made for women is much more focused on the man um oh yeah the woman isn't doing the fake moaning thing at least not as much yeah you focus a lot more on his body the performance is there but it's the camera yeah um and there's things that's really interesting yeah and like growing up that was my my first exposure obviously was straight porn we had a pay-per-view descrambler so every night at midnight the Pay-Per-View channels turned into the porn channels um and it was all straight or lesbian porn and that was my first sort of exposure to it and that's why I knew it existed so when we actually got a computer I was like I wonder if gay stuff exists and oh boy did I find out that it did but we'll get more into a person that kind of stuff after the break and we're back from the break we're assuming this video gets monetized it might not but we're we're playing that game uh but we don't have any visuals and we're not really talking about any like oh but YouTube might just be but again we're gonna we're going to talk about some personal experiences yeah so this segment we're going to talk about our personal experiences um sort of reflecting on the role that it's had in developing sort of our sensibilities because we both James and I both of us even though I am technically a young Millennial and you're a mid-millennial two years older than you I don't know amid I am mid nothing you certainly are not uh you don't even like having the the temperature in the car in the in halfway all cold or all hot uh like I said uh anyway porn I also had my kind of opening experiences uh in to sexuality through porn like because I think very few people few people have sex and that's their first experience with sex is sexual of course yeah like I I I don't know if everyone who like because I think of back to a lot of the girls I knew they weren't watching porn before they had sex but they've definitely seen sex scenes in movies yes and stuff like that so there was an expectation of what sex would be and I think that and that expectation very disappointed yeah the expectation for a lot of girls is he slides in and you're at home base and that's not how it works and that's the expectation a lot of straight guys are left with too and they're like oh Jesus I'm doing something wrong why isn't she moaning I'm not doing anything wrong yeah meanwhile she's listening to The Crickets outside uh but yeah so like what like did before kind of going into a sexual realm did you watch porn yes there was on my weird I think I it wasn't a cable it was kind of network there was this French Canadian of the French Channel yeah and late at night when I would be up like I I saw it and that's kind of was my first really like whoa they are that's penis like for and it was the American viewers um in Canada there are French channels and there was one in particular that after about 10 pm would start showing basically porn the show that I remember it was called Blue Nui uh blue night yeah uh is that oh yeah I remember okay okay a lot I feel like every Canadian guy I'm so I've talked to so many gay guys who like the topic will come up and he's like are you talking about blue movie and so like that's that's a start and like if you're like me and you just have no idea that you're gay early on like you're really confused or like I'm getting off to this I'm not gay and it's like no you're just looking at him yeah um and Bloon read I think also kind of uh that's actually a really interesting thing uh sorry for yeah yeah that's a really interesting thing I've actually uh seen from heard from a lot of gay men is that they watched either that or they watched straight porn and they identified not with the man they identified with the woman oh yes big yes um which kind of I think you know whether that's a top thing or a bottom thing it's the you are the person who is with the man you are not the yeah the you know you're not with the woman so you identify with the woman and I think that kind of can lead to a lot of um a lot of gay men expecting a certain kind of experience yeah from actually having sex again the sort of slide into home base immediately just doesn't happen yeah and because even in gay porn it's it's just like yeah and in gay porn like there's also a reason why they call them porn actors and this is something about that porn doesn't prepare you for is that you have kind of this is a performance this is a performance and it's really uncommon that you kind of have sex like that because like I and this is so weird with gay gay men is when they start having sex I've had like a few early kind of instances with a few different guys um it's like early in my sexual career I I re I'm looking back I realized we were trying to have sex like porn people like porn stars sorry about that everyone had a wee bit of a technical difficulty or the microphone fell down and took the iPad with it so yeah I was saying that we were trying to have sex like porn stars because that was what we thought sex was supposed to be when like really having sex in person is a very different experience than watching people have sex it's much slower it's much slower and just ideally and there doesn't need to be as much of an outrageous display because you are getting so much Sensation from your body contact and you're seeing each other's in most in say 50 of cases you're seeing each other's face it also does not not last nearly as long no there are gay porn videos that are 40 minutes long and I feel like a lot of people who watch those like the Sean Cody videos and a lot some men.com videos and they think okay this is going to last for 40 minutes and then in reality it's more like 10 to 15 if even like sometimes it can even be as like five minutes and like they might be disappointed by that or if they're at the bottom they're probably relieved yeah and another thing that porn does not like there's a lot that porn sets you up for is like establishing like a psychology of sex acceptance but like there's a lot that porn does not prepare you for porn doesn't show you douching porn doesn't show you um how to the magic lubrication the magic lubrication the magical condoms use condoms unless you're with like a very trusted long-term partner yeah um that was the thing in porn for a long time they didn't want to remind viewers of condoms because then they would think of STDs so what would happen is they would like have a wide shot of you know the penetration about to happen and then a close-up in the condom just appears yeah um and something about me is like I used to be like oh I love bear backboard now I'm just indifferent I'm completely indifferent to it yeah um porn is porn porn is porn um it's about it's about the people especially as I've learned that as I have sex the penetration is my least favorite part of sex yeah um and this is part of like maybe this is an ace thing but also like when I do go out of my way to engage in sexual activities uh it's foreplay um the only time that you're really going to get sexual sexual intercourse that lasts for longer than 15 minutes is if you have an amendment foreplay because I have had sexual encounters that have lasted like two hours long because it's foreplay a little bit of contact um cuddling pillow talk and then it's like repeat the cycle yeah and that's how sex lasts for a long time and apparently that's lesbian sex that's just how lesbian yeah I think it was a lesbian do sex it might be shishi LaRue that I'm thinking of that the quote came from but it was something along the lines of you know if you look at a movie um the third act the climax that's penetration but you need the First Act and the second act to get there or it feels like it's it's nothing it means nothing to you and so you need that build up and you know the the climax of a movie takes place for five pages of the script yeah and so if you expect the climax to take place for you know 60 pages of the script you're going to be disappointed or it's going to be bad but also like I think that porn uh I think something that porn has done negatively for the gay community especially is narrowed our definition of what sex is oh absolutely it penetration or even oral isn't really considered sex yeah um the sex that I like to have is literally just dry humping not dry humping it's naked dry humping but you know like that kind of body contact rubbing like that's kind of well I I just think that lasts longer yeah that's more intimate um there's no and this is another thing about anal sex it's uncomfortable uh to get them to not not just receiving it but getting in the position well yeah because like you're either you know kind of doing a doggy style in which case you're you know your legs your back is arched like you're yeah or your your legs are up or whatever and in any you're it's it's a workout yeah like um I feel like porn has done a lot to sort of discredit a lot of you know experimentation that comes from the sex like there are expectations uh because of porn oh yeah um because like most people think their first time needs to be exactly what they have been sort of shown the first time is yeah and you know and then nothing else counts keep in mind where we've said gay men and straight women get their ideas about sex from like so of course like these there's going to be a lot of disappointment because you know especially I I this is something I really hate about a lot of the rash of current media that comes out about you know featuring gay characters especially if they start do having sex I I get so angry because looking at how they depict sex is just terrible yeah um for instance you're almost never going to come from bottoming um almost never uh it's rare that guys can and even then when they can do it is that in a lot of like media yes other than porn yeah I saw it was a you know it was it was it was sort of like a soft course vaccine yeah like kind of straight people and the bottom guy was getting uh penetrated um the sex lasted for about two minutes like two minutes and he was saying like no no stop stop stop I'm getting close okay I'm coming anyway just keep going like I was like what you're you're bottoming you're bottoming that's that's it's very rare I mean we may have been you know touching him so it wasn't oh okay you could see um and I and once again we go back to like the Brokeback Mountain things like where there's bottoming after eating a plate of wheat plate full of beans like like there is a reluctance no lube with a plate full of beans there is a there is a reluctance to depict how sex actually happens and I don't know why after seeing it with gay content even made by gay creators I'm like why are you depicting it this way yeah especially been like I think I think they're they're depicting it that way the same reason that gay rom-coms are basically straight ROM comes with uh with a gender reversal because the the it has been created there is a box to fill and we have to fill it and so we're basically creating straight porn but with two men because that's the expectation yeah and before we close off the segment I just want to touch on one more point about how I think uh because in the 70s I think it was 70s or 80s there was a sort of conflict between San Francisco and La style porn uh yeah where I think it was uh La was very kind of scene based like you just had a pornographic scene whereas L.A was very trying to emulate Hollywood okay so it was the other way around so la was making story based porn and San Francisco is making you know pornographic scenes yeah okay so and then it just kind of swinged sung in the way of San Francisco where it's like you just had it was a scene opened penetration sex finish yeah curtain uh yeah um so I think that has kind of affected the way that a lot of media creators approach making um love scenes in movies like of sex scenes and movies because it is that very you know penetration sex curtain yeah um whereas like I think if we appreciated more narrative porn we would be willing to depict the the ways that foreplay the build up not just foreplay the build up but the way that sexual preparation can be incredibly erotic sort of like the process of just I think there are ways to make a hot scene about a guy putting on a condom I think you can make that sexy well yeah shishi LaRue kind of like made that a point like there was a whole safe sex campaign yeah because like you you frame that as titillation yeah like that that is part of the like the prep prepping for sex is part of the build up you know yeah those are things those are tools you can use they're not obstacles and this is this is something I wanted to just touch on because this will be its own video uh it's its own gays Behaving Badly video in the future I think the our society's complete rejection yeah rejection of sex workers plays a lot into this because sex workers are people people they are professionals they understand you know okay you're into this they play into it and whatnot and in many cases every sex worker that I know is a sex educator they understand the sort of psychology of sex and you know there there is a group of people that we reject as having any kind of authority on this who could open people's minds to what you know a first time should actually be or what a man should expect from a woman or what a top should expect from a bottom or vice versa the [ __ ] destroyers had like a sex ad segment on Netflix before they broke up yeah but it's like rest in peace and like I know sex workers in my personal life who they when they work with clients they've told me they they they go at their Pace they want like if they've got to read the room well yeah and like if the client they like I I know one in particular who has said that he works with a lot of virgins and they come in thinking okay this is what it's going to be and he doesn't tell them that he's like taking it slower but he does and then they have a much more enjoyable experience than you know the 10-minute tussle that honestly I wish that I my first time would have been with someone who was more experienced who knew what they were doing um we only had sex with one person before me and he bought him for that yeah um and I have since day one I have had uh problems in my backside because of sex because it wasn't just wasn't done properly routinely in my life I've been with a lot of guys who just did not do it properly and I mean like I have notoriously on streams talked about how young I was when I started having sex and I I wish that I had at least had some information because we were using butter yeah uh so on that we're gonna go to our maybe maybe an ad break pray for us guys pray for us not from Bay cell that's for sure I hope it's for Christian Ringle oh that'd be great and we're back maybe or we we are back but we've never gone there may yeah we may not have gone anywhere cot welcome back to the show all right uh so you you wanted to start off this segment segment yeah yeah um talking about uh the ways that porn influenced media about sex and um the way the median mainstream media depicts sex because of influenced by porn but also um gay people are now being accepted into media that is not just you know going to have a sex scene because we have things like Heart Stopper among numerous Myriad of other things directed at um not necessarily children but younger audiences like sort of that ya TV sort of area yeah where there are now gay characters and the way they are because there are now gay like not just YA books which are basically you know for 16 and 17 year olds there's there's gay um middle grade books yeah yeah and you know they're there's gay characters and boyfriends and girlfriends and stuff in there but they're meant for you know 11 and 12 year olds so they they are much more I want to say Innocent but they're you know they're not saying they're not saying gay is focused on the sex act yeah yeah absolutely and well I I well I welcome that and I'm glad for that I am seeing some concerning Trends about the way that that's kind of playing out especially like in younger Generations um in ways that I hope that um you know as they get older they'll kind of you know flash them get a little bit more you know accepting of these things because there is a rash of no king of Pride that has been seen among the younger younger queer people but also you kind of said it earlier when um uh media media about like you know straight couples is very you said it that in um gay rom-coms they basically just take a straight rom-com and you know swap out a gender yeah um and in those the ideas of romance and sex are very idealized in the sense that you love someone before you actually you know had to commit to have sex with them which is something you don't have to do that's not a human necessity no sex sex actually is a human necessity we have to do it to continue to have humans whereas love is not a human necessity but also sex is one of the best mood stabilized sexual intercourse masturbation they're the best mood stabilizers that yeah like sexual acts either by yourself or any kind of sexual act with another person is a mood stabilizer it's an antidepressant for many of us like for many of us like a dripping sweeping generalization of human physiology Sexes I would say essential for our species not necessarily for babies but just for maintaining um good mental health good mental health um because like you know like I have seen multiple people say like when you are when you feel a little bit of a dip jerk off it's like taking a Xanax and it's not inaccurate uh but you can't jerk off everywhere you can't jerk off in the places that you probably should take a Xanax yeah so you know uh don't don't diogenase this stuff um uh so it is important to you know see the right mental professional medical professionals to get the right kind of medications that are required but yeah part of that comes from an element of demystifying and destigmatizing sex and then want the need to have sex in general yeah because that's something we don't say sex is kind of seen as a luxury or masturbation sexual intercourse sexual pleasure is seen as a luxury but I don't think we as a species we should look at it that way and granted of course this is there's there also are Ace people who just have no sex drive and who do not need this and that's fine so like my concern about the way that a lot of gay media is being developed is that it is kind of just a swap out for you know a woman for another man and kind of put it in these situations because then that kind of facilitates that love needs to come first sort of attitude we're divorcing sex from love and love from sex I think is something that is the next sexual development of our species and I think there is an issue specifically with gay men um when connecting with sex because for instance when Heart Stopper came out on Netflix there were a lot of gay men who were very angry at the show for it not having a gay sex scene that the relation the development of a gay relationship and all of that kind of stuff they that wasn't important it was the lack of a gay sex scene that they were very frustrated at um and at the same time there are people who are frustrated at shows that you know they jump right into the sex and it's like we need that mix we people do we do and immediately have sex but there's also people who do you know date we have seen in many different facets of life people have a hard time divorcing fantasy from reality oh yeah yeah and that was kind of what I wanted to say about in the last what I was trying to say in the last session about the way that media approaches sex is that it takes these kind of pornographic ideas of like straight to like zero to 60 when I think like if we had adopted a more Narrative Approach the more La approach in the 70s I think that we would have a more more sex elements of media would be more on Queer as Folk which would be more educational sort of guiding you through the process preparation yeah um and sort of having these narrative elements as build up rather than just getting straight to it yeah um so like the concern I have is that because straight media the straight hegemony you their media development is still locked in very Puritan puritanical values yeah so like when we're just swap we're just taking the same media formats but swapping out the sexuality we're inserting that puritism isn't puritivism back into the community because that's how younger kids are going to get their first exposure to homosexuality yeah they're going to um let me not necessarily it might not be Heart Stopper where they see it the first time but another kind of media like it like they're going to see that probably before they start seeing porn oh yeah absolutely they're going to see young Royals or they're going to see um that Spanish show that I can't watch because it's yeah Elite because they're too goddamn good-looking um they're going to see those things I have seen specific scenes of that because they're God I'm good looking they're going to see those things before they see porn and so you know kind of mainstream media really porn isn't the first place you learn about ksx anymore which is probably a good thing because again porn is really only it's portraying a fantasy like I said whereas mainstream media can make the argument that they are portraying something more realistic I that's what I would argue is I'd say it's it's a different kind of fantasy because there was a sexy and if you're expecting sex like you'll see an Elite you're you're gonna be sorry with porn uh yeah young Royals also kind of has a very idealistic sort of sex atmosphere and sort of uh atmosphere about sex I very much disagree there he's a prince yeah he's a prince but I mean the sex like that's that's a relationship idealistic yeah that's not that's what I mean though is like we're once again kind of you know associating sex and romance instead of just accepting that sex is something that people do to literally feel good that's where I'd like to see more media start adopting that attitude um The Sex in the City View of sex yes exactly um but not just it doesn't need to be in teenage media no but like no College age sort of depicting like first time experiences first romances for like Discovery areas um and sort of really having these very candid discussions about sex and sexuality in media format yeah um and not only that but in instances of depicting sex also depicting safe and healthy and consensual sex practices that are more you know educational through the context of being media because all media is educational yeah um it's developing a world that it wants to see whether it's trying to do it or not even Twilight was doing that it's it was trying to create a world even every Creator does that even if they don't know they're doing it I mean that's yeah every piece of media that's created is trying to influence the world that the Creator wants to see so yeah the Creator needs to be very aware of what they're trying to educate um and good creators will do it in a way where people don't know they're being educated so yeah that's uh the end of the video I guess um General sex positivity taking sex out of the closet and saying this exists it exists for physical reasons emotional reasons there's no point in denying you exist yeah stop pretending this doesn't exist stop pretending porn doesn't exist these are things that are kind of essential to society and I think that's what we need to start doing and if we start doing that I think it will lead to things that will you know it might lead to a to kind of booting out the politicians who want to ban drag queens and stuff like that because they see that as they will take some kind of sexual interest because that is all linked to set their arguments have fundamentally sex is abnormal this thing is a sex fetish thing therefore it is abnormal yeah even a drag is not a sex fetish thing but you know conservative yeah so thank you guys so much for watching the video thank you for listening um and thank you to for subscribing to the channel if you're not subscribed please like subscribe follow follow us on Twitter and all those places the links are in the description you can check out our patreon uh where you get early access to videos behind the scenes videos uh movie watch alongs exclusive videos all sorts of stuff um so yeah I have been James I've spin Nick and we will see you again soon with another episode of gays behaving badly and normal video essays where we actually put effort into production all right have a great day night evening afternoon weekend month everybody dildos [Music] thank you [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign

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