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"Maybe the end (Not an April Fool's Day Thing)" Transcript

01 Apr 2023

A video where a man lies directly into a camera for eight solid minutes and manages to convince thousands of caring people to give him even more money.

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You can view the archive of this video on the Internet Archive or on the Wayback Machine

Transcribed by Premiere Pro Auto-Transcription.
Formatted by Tustin2121.


  • He probably lied about every number in this video.
  • This whole video is a manipulative ploy to get more money out of people without even caring if people were hard-pressed for money or not.
  • This video resulted in 1,200 new patrons in one day (Jump to )


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Commenter

Commentary is on the right.


Apr 01, 2023 First published.
Dec 07, 2023 Privated post-callout.
May 8, 2024Channel deleted

Thank you guys for letting us do this for as long as you have.
[patreon link]

 

Hey, everyone, um.... I just want to preface this.... This is not an April Fools Day video,um... Bad timing... but it's not an April Fools Day video.

We just got our lowest... Patreon payout in... well over a year and by a lot... like less than half of... of what we usually get a month.

This kind of coinciding with.... the YouTube videos doing not great in general?

Dan Olson (Foldable Human)

Dan Olson sums up the context around this video on Twitter ([Twitter mirror]):

Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away.

The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.

Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.

You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.

Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.

What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.

Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome.

Biblical sins, but not crimes.

Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself"

Buying stuff because it feels like progress.

At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.

Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.

Again, GAS is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video.

But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.

James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.

Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.

Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."

James Somerton: "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them."

James Somerton: "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."

He spends several days getting absolutely roasted for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.

So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.

James Somerton: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."

Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.

There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.

A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.

The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.

Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.

So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself.

"I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."
"Maybe the end"

He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.

In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."

He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.

And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.

1200 new patrons in one day.

Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.

I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, *making stuff* even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.

You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"

And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.

Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.

He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.

A year ago most videos were doing about 300,000 views. Now we're very lucky if we can get to 200,000... Usually they're not even crossing there.

YouTube has started hitting a lot-- some of our videos with 18+ ratings, which basically kill the video dead. There's... it's just... it's just dead.

And there's, you know, always the the pain in the butt of, uh, people not getting notified when videos come out and stuff like that, which is... we've kind of gotten used to that. But there was always the Patreon as this sort of... not back up, but... there's this... bedrock... that we had. Where we knew that even if YouTube was, you know... being a dick, uh... our patrons were still there. And it... now it looks like maybe not?

This month we got less than half of our worst month... in the past year, um...

It was--- or no, mid-2021... since we've seen numbers this low. And because YouTube is, you know, not sending the videos out... and our views are way down, we're not getting a whole lot of ad revenue.

And now with this huge drop in in patron numbers... or patron income, the patron numbers seem to be the same as usual, but the income is way down. So I'm assuming a lot of patrons have had to... reduce their pledges... for, you know, financial reasons. That's completely understandable.

But, uh...

With... with the amount that came in this month, um... I don't know if we'll be able to continue...? with the channel? Um, there's just not enough there to... pay bills. And for, for Nick and I... especially living... you know, we live-- we don't live together, now. We live apart, and so... we're not roommates anymore. And so... it...

And Nick is, you know, if you don't know, Nick is a writer and co-producer on-- on the videos and, um... if-- if the patron numbers, um... s-stay like that then it's we can't really-- I don't-- I don't think we can keep going.

Which really sucks! We had a bunch of plans. Well, we had a bunch of plans specifically for patrons. There's a video coming out... uh, supposed to come out later... It was supposed to come out next weekend. Um, and there's going to be a, a whole other version of it just for patrons...

Doing more things like watch-alongs, where we get to interact with the patrons, and watch movies and stuff like that. We've been trying to do more stuff like that, kind of make it worth being a patron.

But like video-wise, we have a bunch of stuff planned... But I don't know if, um... if that's going to be possible? Um, I've really, really enjoyed this last year...? Where we, we really had a really solid bedrock with patrons. Um... I'm not sure if we've done something...? What it might be...

But, uh, with YouTube being the way it is, and if patrons... if the patron stays this low, I don't think, um... I don't think the channel will be long for this world. Um, that sounds so dramatic, um...

But, yeah, we're... We won't be able to focus on videos. We won't be able to do videos anymore.

I've loved doing this? So much. This is...

When things got really... if you follow me on Twitter and stuff like that, you know, things got really, really dark for me in December. And, uh... it was being, you know, being able to make videos that-- that kind of-- drew me back out of that. And so I'm really going to miss that.

So I hope...? [clears throat, like he's trying not to cry]

Sorry. I hope that... maybe something works out. But if things stay the way they are... um... so I just wanted to put this out there. Uh... just so that, you know, in case the channel... goes quiet so that you, you know why...

Um... hopefully something works out and we can keep doing this.

Cause I love making these videos. I love making... especially the educational videos, the historical videos. I love making the video essays where, you know, we get to talk about smart stuff and I can... go all crazy with cinematography and sets and lighting and stuff like that, and it's... it's...

Like, I know it's... it's so corny and stupid, but I love my job... and... it'd really suck. It would really suck if, uh... if I couldn't do this anymore.

But I hope hopefully something works out? But, um...

Yeah, I just it was like a... like a kick in the teeth... seeing-- seeing those numbers because that's... that's not even being able to... being able for Nick and I to pay the rent... Um, I mean we're in a bad spot... but, uh...

For everyone who is a patron or, and has been a patron, I want to thank you and everyone who watches the channel, the videos on the channel and shares them and everything, I want to thank you too. You've been amazing. And hopefully...

Hopefully something works out and we can keep going. But if not, I just want you to know that I really appreciated... you giving me the ability to do this... for as long as I have... Um... Yeah.

[Video ends abruptly.]

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